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May 6, 2014

When are you guys going to have kids?

The all too familiar question I just know most ladies get asked the second they get married.
For Mark and I, we actually never got that question until recently. 
I guess our family always knew we weren't really "into" kids and for a very long time neither of us wanted to bother.
And then I flipped the script two years ago and now it's a thing.
It's a frustrating thing, quite frankly.
Spring is among us and the layers upon layers of winter clothing are being shed and the one thing I always notice are cute little baby bumps of the Chicago ladies gearing up for late summer or fall babies.
I want that.

So where are we with baby-making?
2013 was a very emotionally trying year. We moved, which both awesome and super stressful.
And then behind the scenes, I ebbed and flowed with a range of emotions that would make a person with multiple personalities jealous.
The beginning of each cycle I was hopeful.
Then as we got closer to "go time" I got a little nervous. Nervous about timing, the right way, the right time of day, the right products, the right pee sticks!
Then we wait. Wait and wait and wait for almost two weeks.
The days would tick down, I would check online preg testing websites that would tell me to HOLD OFF! Don't test yet! You will only be disappointed.
And I would take my temperature every morning. When it would drop at the end of the cycle, it was over.
I would get sad.
Then I would get really, really angry.
And then it would start all over again.

So at the beginning of 2014, Mark and I had a frank conversation with where we were in our relationship and where we were headed, both emotionally and financially.
Winter is tough on both of us.
He works all the time and I get depression.
In order to have a spring/summer/fall baby, we would have to wait.
We needed to anyways.
I needed a break. Mark's ear needed a break from me complaining and nagging all the time.

Every four weeks I would put a little calendar reminder to keep me motivated.
"16 weeks" "12 weeks" "8 weeks" and then every two...6, 4, 2, 1 then "go time".
We are 7 weeks out.

Mark has been tested. He was thrilled, let me tell ya.
The good news is that he is in good shape for the most part, which means our issues with conceiving come down to me.
In 7 weeks I go in for the dreaded dye test.
I am really not looking forward to that. I heard it hurts, a lot. But the silver lining is that, pending no blocked tubes, the dye is supposed to "clear the way" and you can potentially be more fertile in the first couple of months. Who knows at this point but if someone wrote in on the internet, there's a chance I will believe it.

My plan is to get that dumb test over with, hopefully I am clear, and we can move forward.
I am approved for Clomid but the first month back at it I will wait.
One thing at a time.
From what I have read, I have three back-to-back cycles with the big C and I am praying that does the trick.
I'm also not looking forward to the potential side effects of Clomid.
But if that is what it takes, then so be it.

2015 seems like a fine year to have a baby, don't you think?

********

Now that you got through that junk, I'd like to introduce you to Candra at Camo & Lipstick.


This chick cracks me up. She is always doing headstands all over her home and the images usually pop up on Instagram. Even her Nav Bar titles are hilarious....joking about rednecks is right up my alley.

I swear it's like we were separated at birth.
Now, I don't hunt, but the whole "hangin' in the woods, drinking beer with family, and somebody shooting something" seems to happen with me a lot more than I ever imagined it would. And I woudn't have it any other way.

So take a moment and stop over to Candra's page and tell her Tia sent you!
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8 comments:

  1. I can't imagine how frustrating it is, and I know how pissy/jealous/green-eyed monster you must get when you run into Susie (or whoever you hated from high school) and she tells you "Bob and I are having a baby, and we weren't even trying!" [insert stabby Psycho music here] It's a tough road you two are on, and unfortunately, I have no great words of wisdom since my road is in a different direction from yours. But, stay strong and stay positive. 2015 is a fabulous year <3

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  2. As cliche as these statements are: everything happens for a reason and when they're meant to be. So as hard as it is, don't over think things or get overly stressed because stress can impede pregnancy. I think 2015 definitely seems like a fine year for a baby, for you and your hubby. :D Best of luck with the exams Tia and have a happy hump day! -Iva

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  3. Good luck, and stay positive even though no one wants to here that 'ish! It will happen :)

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  4. Sorry - I disagree with AwesomelyOZ. Women are going to over think things and obsess. I went through 13 months of wanting my second child and anytime someone said not to stress it just made it worse.

    Good luck Tia. As always, totally routing for you guys and I'm here whenever you need to vent!

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  5. I feel your frustration. I really do and saying "dont worry" doesnt help. Not gonna lie, the dye test sucks balls and yes painful. I didnt have any blockage and yet still didnt get pregnant following the test, but I did eventually. Take your time and feel every emotion. Its part of the process. Believe me!!

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  6. So what's this dye thing? Do you drink it or is it IV? And it's so the OB can see images better or it's strictly to clean out your tubes so eggs flow better? Fill me in!

    I'm so sorry you are going thru all this. It took me 8 months to get pregnant w/ my first and I was so freaked out. I can't imagine it taking 2 years +! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!!!

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  7. awww good luck! I know it's crappy waiting but it will work out when the time is right. fingers crossed for you guys!

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