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Sep 14, 2014

Forgiveness

Happy Monday loves,
I hope you are easing back into the work-week as smoothly as possible.
Our weekend was filled with a family wedding, and as sad as this is to admit, our first time away from our home and bulldogs at an overnight stay, in probably over a year.
Did I ever mention we hardly leave home? Ha, it's like we have a pile of tiny kids and no babysitter, only instead of a pile of kids, I have two bulldogs that hate most other dogs and each other most of the time, so finding spots for them can get dicey.

Anywho, I am writing today on the topic of forgiveness. And no, I won't get all Jesus with this post. It's more of just a general idea that I feel like comes upon me more easily these days. It might have something to do with me hitting my 30's and reining in the anger a tad, but I have learned two things in recent years:


1) If you are hurt or upset, be direct about your feelings and to the point. Get it all out and really try to communicate what happened that hurt you and why it did, especially if you think the opposing party won't "get it."
I try to use examples to make my point as clear as possible, especially in cases where I am arguing with my husband, but honestly, it took him a while to understand why things upset me and what will trigger them.

2) Don't hold grudges. Get whatever you need off your chest, and take time to reflect on why you are angry. Fight the fight and then be done. Move forward. Chances are, the opposing party doesn't feel as strongly or is on the same page, so if the argument is going nowhere, make peace to walk away. It's just not worth it, usually.  Time is precious and yadda yadda yah, but seriously, if you are still angry after whatever it was that made you mad, and you fought, and it's "over"...then guess what? It's not over. Figure out what you want and use your words.

Part of my brief hiatus with blogging had to do with a portion of the blogworld that I stumbled upon and in turn, hurt me. I didn't really know how to react and at the time, if I had posted about it, it would have made me look petty and bitchy, so I just let it go. But then I couldn't. I couldn't stop thinking about it. It made me realize how shitty people can be when they have the veil of the computer screen to hide from their offender. There is no tone, no sarcasm, no emotion behind typed words, so interpreting something that someone else wrote can go bad instantly.
And it did.

So I mentioned it in my coming back post.
And then I got over it. I said my piece and got it off my chest.
And then....about a week later, my faith in humanity was restored.


I received an apology letter. A handwritten letter, on a super cute card, mailed straight to me.
In the letter she described how sorry she felt for the words that were written. She told me she never meant for them to be written the way they were. She explained the whole situation and put everything into perspective and I am so glad she did. Giving the "other side" to an argument helps realize that maybe you were projecting some issues onto your side unfairly.

There is no need to get into details, but I decided to back away from blog design for so many reasons. I'm a little fish in a huge ocean of super talented designers that have dedicated every waking moment to making beautiful and seamless designs for their clients. I cannot offer that.
I, personally, think I have a different take on design. A very 'in your face' kick-ass take, uh thank you very much, but I just can't understand HOW these designers are selling their product for so cheap and don't feel underwater with the amount of work vs. income.

How have you guys handled forgiveness? Is it still a struggle? What tips could you offer to make peace?

So does that mean that I am done with blog design? Nope. Not in the slightest.
In fact, I am gearing up to do a complete re-design of my package options and will include some freebies in there for you folks.  Stay tuned for more information.

Thank you again for the letter. You know who you are. :)

5 comments:

  1. Awww sweets, this makes my heart happy. And since my butt hole is still in a lot of pain, this really helps! I know we spoke of the situation over lunch, and I'm glad it's been rectified with a small gesture. Sometimes, that's all it takes. Happy Monday <3

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  2. I still struggle with it from time to time, but you're right, as we get older, it's easier to let go of the anger and accept things.

    I'm glad I found my little fish designer! ;) I still love my layout every time I look at it! :)

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  3. I'm very glad whoever hurt you reached out and that you feel better about it! Awesome on the design stuff, you have a talent for it!!

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  4. This has been a recent topic for me. It's even harder when its in your relationship (your significant other). I did have to remember that I forgave and to stop "harping" on it. But it is true, just because you forgave, does not mean you do not believe the action/whatever is wrong or you accept it. There is a very fine line between forgiving and remembering that you forgave, I'm still learning and trying to go. I love that this person sent you a hand written card to explain. Thanks for the post, very fitting for me right now! xoxo, ganeeban

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  5. Great post! It's great to have that closure or the "other side". Sometimes in this blogging/social media world, you don't always get the other side. Have a great day love!!!

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