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May 1, 2015

You should try to have babies before 35

...said my Gyno at my appointment yesterday.
In my head, my immediate reaction was all


I know, real mature.
Luckily, none of that came out....because the thing is....she DOESN'T know my life. And as much as I like her as my new doctor, and I know she means the best, it doesn't mean I have to justify our decisions.

I had not seen her since our diagnosis earlier this year. Hell, I really hadn't seen her since last October when we first met for the initial consultation and she suggested we pursue IUI.

So, she's feeling me up and starts asking me if I had, or would consider donor sperm.
No. That thought actually never crossed my mind. Because as crazy as this sounds, I actually want my HUSBAND'S child....not just ANY child. I want to see what we make, you know?
I want to see if the child has Mark's sleep-walking tendencies and wild boyhood antics.
I want to see if the child has my Southern twang that I had growing up.
I want a product of US, not just a product.
I don't need a baby to fill this longing void in my life.
There isn't a void in my life...we just believe we would be good parents with our own kid, and that's it.

And I keep gently reminding her, while she shoves that metal pelican in my hoo-ha. that I actually don't have a job right now.
The key to IVF and Genetic testing is one major factor...you need dough. Lots and lots of dough.

So the funny thing is, is I guess she just thinks I'm a bit nutty to not wanting to take the 25% risk.
Yes, it really is only a 25% risk that our child will have physical and mental problems FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE....but there is also a 75% chance everything will be hunky dory.

But we know. We know we can do what it takes to avoid it completely. There are solutions (expensive solutions) but solutions none-the-less, and WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY...so why wouldn't we use it? Seems like a no-brainer if you ask me.



And on that note, I kind of left y'all hanging about our plans...huh?
So we (selfishly) decided that if we have to pay mucho dinero for a baby, how bout we spend a little on ourselves before we go that route? #TreatYoSelf


I really want our kitchen re-done. Second to that disgusting bathroom upstairs, it was one of the main reasons I didn't want to buy this place.
We don't really want to expand the footprint, but the kitchen is awkward and lacking usable square footage.
Included in that upgrade is eliminating the grandma carpet on the first floor.
We have confirmed there is hardwood that can be refinished in half of the space, and we'll work out the rest.
And if there is any money leftover in the budget, I'd like to upgrade the vanity and finishes in the downstairs bathroom as well. A little more beachy and open, if we can.

On Mark's list includes a speed boat (which I still kind of laugh at). He is eccentric in nature but his family are big car and boat people, so really it only makes sense.
But, if it is on his wish list, we better well make sure it happens pre-baby because I will lose it if I have to hear about it afterward.

And finally, we will  need a family friendly car in general, and maybe sooner if I end up with a suburban job that I drive to. Mark isn't too keen on me shlepping one of our older, classic cars, around town.

So what is the timeline for all of this?
Two years.
Can it be done?
I have no clue. I budgeted out our savings for all of these things, including our IVF fees, and it should work, but things like me not having a job aren't really playing into that plan.

Our goal is to get me pregnant by the summer of 2017. And yes, I have already heard from our entire family about how "waiting isn't the smartest idea." I really don't care. We know we would never be able to save for stuff WE want when there is daycare and diapers to pay for, so what's another couple of years? I think it is perfectly fitting. Less stress because our house is DONE. We get all of our wants checked off the list and then we get a baby (or babies) to enjoy without worrying about whether we can afford to rip up the slippery linoleum in the kitchen for fear someone will crack their head open.

So that's the plan, stan. Pray to the job-gods that I hear good news about getting employed again so we can put this damn plan to action!!

Thanks for reading and have a BEAUTIFUL weekend!

6 comments:

  1. I love that you guys are planning so much and making sure that your going to be happy, because if you're not then the kids aren't. It's like the old adage "if mom's not happy, nobody is happy."

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  2. There is nothing wrong with a plan no matter how old you are. As for that doctor.... I would have wanted to poke her in the eye.

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  3. I am so happy to hear that you two are planning and thinking clearly about these choices.Forget that doctor, you two need to do what you think is best for you and your marriage.

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  4. Wait, was this Novas/Dohr or like the new OB you went to when you wanted to start help with fertility? I mean, either is NOT OK. Obviously, your ideal would have been to already have a baby. I can't believe the insensitivity of DR's sometimes........ I'm sorry! But hey - WOO HOO on updating kitchens! Love watching your projects.

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  5. Im 36 and single...and eventually want to have babies. However there's no one currently to impregnate me. If a Dr ever said something like that to me WATCH OUT!

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  6. Love that you have a plan and an idea of what you're expectations are for the next couple years, although my experience has been "have a plan, but never expect to stick to it" because life happens and it always changes, but I still 100% agree to have a plan and do whatever works for you!!

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