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Jan 8, 2016

OCD: Party of One


Good morning my loves.
Yay for Friday!
I'm looking forward to another soak with some of my new spa products.
Lush has me hooked and I don't ever want to let go, Jack.

Can I tell you that my original intention with this post was to ramble on about my plans and such to keep myself in fighting shape as we gear up for whatever the next few months hold?

And it probably will at some point, but you see, I am in the middle of the pre-period, high progesterone, phase of my month.
Girls, you know what I'm talking about: I have no patience, a cleaning issue that is beyond my control, a need to make all the labels face out, and a temper like a hyena.

Yea....it's on like donkey kong.

I found myself SCREAMING at no one in particular as I sped home last night.
Everyone was driving like an idiot, except me, obviously.

I got home and knew I could just lose it at any moment with Mark, who was busy heating up gumbo his parents graciously gave us for dinner last night.
And in an effort to combat the crazy, I hopped on the treadmill and ran as hard and as fast as I could for about ten minutes. Then I washed up, removed my make-up, and grabbed a beer.

At that point, I was even willing to put up with the child-like shenanigans my husband kept throwing in my face.



And I didn't even have any day-dreams about smothering him with a pillow that night!
I'd call that a win-win!

Anyways, with this time of my month, before I drop into crampy-stomach-zombie-mode, I can't help but wonder exactly how bad my crazy and anxious mood is going to get once we reach the, "daily progesterone injection in my ass with a 2 inch needle for 12 straight weeks" phase of getting pregnant.

Like, I KNOW Mark has his concerns. He vocalizes them all the time.
"You are going to be crazy and have crazy demands all the time and I'm just going to have to sit here and take it."
And of course I say, "Oh no honey, that would never happen, I know how to keep myself in check."

But in the back of my mind, he knows that's total bullshit.
I KNOW IT'S TOTAL BULLSHIT.

Progesterone does crazy things to me. I am a force to be reckoned with. I come in hot and demand answers and cleanliness and MOVE MOVE MOVE...I want to see KNEES TO CHEST, HONEY...KNEES TO CHEST!

But in like four days, that's all over with.
But those shots...and pregnancy itself?
Look out.

I'm going to try, but I make zero promises that I will ever, at any point, be able to check my self before I riggidy-wreck myself.

So anyways, enough about progesterone. That is so far off this year it's almost laughable at this point.

Before I go any further, I must say a huge THANK YOU! Your comments on this blog and IG and Facebook have all been so uplifting. I feel like this tribe of people, both online and in real life...is epic. I feel good with sharing my story, whether it helps someone else going through infertility, genetic issues, TTC, or just looking for laugh...I'm your girl.

After my last post published, I got a call to schedule my intake phone screen with the genetics lab.
Unfortunately, they can't get me in until January 29th, so really nothing starts with my genetic set-up until after that point.
From the decent amount of Googling I have conducted in the last 24 hours....MCAD is considered a more common genetic mutation, although incredibly lethal to those that develop it (isn't that scary?!).

Because it's more common, it means it will take less time to set-up my probe than a more rare mutation.
I'm anticipating something around four weeks.

Which would mean, fingers crossed, that if it is just four weeks, I could potentially start my birth controlled prep cycle March 1.

See how long all this is to prepare?!

I don't know what I was expecting. I half-heartedly expected to have a completed retrieval cycle at that point, but as we all know...beggars can't be choosers.

Whatever. It'll all be fine.
And that gives me a couple more months to kill it at the gym and drink some boozy booze.

Thank you for reading! Live long and prosper and all that jazz.

7 comments:

  1. I think you may surprise yourself. My SIL is on the same level and when she got preggo (she's 6 months now), she actually mellowed. Like is super mellow. So much so that when her hubs wanted to name their child Slade she said no and then didn't throw a shit fit until he agreed with her name, instead she said we'll compromise and find another. Never in real life would this have happened prior to her pregnancy. Never.

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  2. Your hubby with the bread... lol... why do men do this? My guy friend had these little baby cans of coors light at tennis last night and he commented on how big they made his hands look. Next thing ya know all the guys were holding them up to their junk... sooo funny. :) Happy weekend!

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  3. That picture of your husband is hilarious. But I can definitely understand wanting to kill him when that time of the month is near! And I hear you about everyone on the road being an idiot... I always wonder why everyone doesn't just drive like me!

    I'm single so everything that goes along with trying to get pregnant is beyond me (besides the obvious), but I wish you the best of luck with everything! And the best of luck to your husband as well if and when you do go crazy and have crazy demands. :)

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  4. OMG, I can just picture you frantically placing all the labels in the pantry face forward and THEN putting them in alphabetical order!

    Hang in there and Happy Friday!

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  5. I have tried to comment a few times today... having so much trouble commenting on some blogs from my phone! ugh. Anyway, I have cracked up about your husband! I know you two have a blast together. I am in pre-period, too, and oh lord. I have yelled at Jason 1,000 times this week to clean up after himself, so much so that he just ordered a book on decluttering. :( I also yelled at a recruiter on the phone. Got to love hormones. Don't be so hard on yourself, though. I can't imagine how tough it will be, but it will all be worth it!

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  6. Cheers, fingers crossed for you.

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  7. Cheers, fingers crossed for you.

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