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Mar 16, 2016

Grace Not Perfection


It's inevitable.
We all age.
We all try to age gracefully....some do it better than others.

(Spoiler alert) We are all going to end up looking like shriveled up raisins.

Genetics are a huge factor, no doubt.
Your skincare routine and line of work are contributing factors as well.
There are a million products to buy and hacks to try to keep your fountain of youth running strong.

But, I will leave it to the beauty professionals to help you decide which expensive skincare cream to use to fix your face.

Today I'm talking about life, darling.

Could you be missing out on life because you spend your time worrying about your looks?

Every woman, at some point in their life, goes through the dreaded....

I'M FAT/I'M UGLY/NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE ME phase.

For me, that would have been my early 20's.

I clearly remember the days of counting my calories, trying to figure out ways I could still have a thousand drinks with 0 sugar/carbs/calories, exercising until I could pass out, and crying in the changing room stalls.

My life and my happiness revolved around the size of my jeans.
It revolved around perfect hair, and perfect make-up and the ever elusive perfect body.

I would get upset that my boobs weren't big enough, or my stomach wasn't flat enough, or my thighs were to dimply and (gasp!) touched each other, or my eye circles were too dark, or my hair was too thin.

I was so so obsessed with this ideal plastered all over magazines and advertisements and commercials, that we as women had to be these trophies of desire in order to land the right man and succeed in this world.

Heaven forbid we use our brains.
Brains aren't sexy, right?

At my darkest moment, I finally realized that this obsession was taking over my life.
It controlled my happiness, my mood, my relationship with my boyfriend (now husband).

I would let life pass me by because I didn't want to look fat in photos.
I would cancel dinner plans because I didn't know what the menu would be or how many calories I would consume.
I would stay indoors if my pants felt snug.

And the list went on and on....

I did eventually grow out of that phase of life, to focus more on what really matters.

Being happy.

Over the last ten years, I have loosened the reins on perfection to instead embrace "my best."

I let my hair dry naturally wavy.
My make-up routine and skincare are far more simple these days to show off who I am.
(not that there isn't a time and place for smoky eyes and red lips! I love those days too!)

I thank my husband for that one.
Ladies, if you ever meet a man that tells you you are gorgeous without make-up, believe them and never let them go.

I workout to the best of my ability, but gone are the days of spending hours at the gym.
I do my best to live an active lifestyle, which is far better cardio than stomping a treadmill.

I laugh a lot.
Mostly at myself, for my clumsy ways and childish humor.

And of course, laughing causes wrinkles.
So does worrying and loving another.
It also brings gray hair.
Adventures can bring cuts and scrapes and scars.
Aging makes your skin sag, and your butt flatten out, and your balls hit the toilet water. :)

It's called GRAVITY...aka the great equalizer.

Life is not perfect and we should never strive to make it that way.
It is an exhausting waste of time left only to people with a petty mindset.

You will feel fat some days, and ugly others, and carry a range of emotions depending on your season of life.

But as we age, we gain the wisdom to soften our edges to those silly arguments and obsessions and strives for perfection.

We calm the rage and anger and instant gratification.
We embrace the here and now.
We open our eyes to the beauty around us, be it sunshine or surrounded by loved ones, or success and triumph and failure.

Even in death, there is beauty.

It's a beauty that makes us realize life is so short....most of us have completed 25-50% of our entire lives already, and I for one will not waste another minute of it over something petty.

I will not worry when I sit down and my stomach folds over itself.
I will not fret when I am on Day 3 of unwashed, dry-shampooed hair.
I will not fear venturing into public without make-up (heaven forbid!)
I will turn a blind eye to the never ending cycle of dog hair accumulation in my home, or the unfolded laundry in the dryer (I'll just toss it...again), or the pile of dirty dishes in my sink.

I will stop comparing.

I will not fall envious to those with better clothes, or a better house, or a better lifestyle.

I don't know what those people are going through.
Maybe it's their clothes, or home, or supposed better lifestyle that is getting them through something terrible.

I will soften my edges to negativity.
Look at the big picture and forgo the details, sometimes.

And laugh.
A big belly laugh that creases my eyes and makes me cry.

And smile to often and hug too long and cheers too often and take too many pictures.

Here's to aging, my friends.
Thank you for reading.

4 comments:

  1. I struggle with this a bit. I think because I am single and a lot of men my own age seem to prefer younger women. Ugh... talk about feeding into insecurities. I agree with you though obsessing only makes you stress which is the worst possible thing for us!

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  2. Yep, my husband used to tell me I was beautiful in a stained t-shirt and baggie sweat pants! He was a keeper for sure :D

    Love this post - you've grown so much and you are beautiful!

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  3. I'm usually good about this...but today...today I tried on swim suits.

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  4. My husband is great about making me feel beautiful as is...I'm the one with the problem! I can tell that in some areas I don't care as much and it's awesome. I let my hair air dry and go and don't care who sees me without make up. No matter what we all do end up as raisins. Whah!!!

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