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Mar 9, 2016

Infertility Awareness: You are not alone


Happy Wednesday loves.
Before I jump to today's topic, I wanted to clue you into a tiny bit of stream-lining I did on this blog.

If you are viewing this on a desktop, you will notice I have separated all of my posts into three main categories just under my photo.
The goal was to simplify things based on what I talk about, which apparently is just three things.

Ha.

Home Design and Renovation: This one is obvious. When I'm not speaking about the topic of IVF and infertility, I spend my time dusting off the Interior Architecture degree and putting my creativity to use.

A Baby Through Science: Duh. After everything we've been through, we are hot on the trail using science as our for-tay into parenthood.

Seasons of Life: This is everything else under the sun that doesn't exactly have its own category but had meaning to me at some point. Each season brings something new.

Clicking any image will gather all my old posts into one place.
See? Streamlined.

Moving on....

Infertility Awareness.
It's a thing.
It's a topic that is very near and dear to my heart.

Whether you are just starting to think that getting knocked up isn't as easy as your High School Health teacher led you to believe, or you are in the midst of the chaos of emotions that is trying to figure out the issues, or you made it out the other side, whether with child or without, infertility has defined you and your life and there is no escaping it.

It is a disease and you should not feel that you are alone in your journey.

But I get it.

As someone that wanted so badly to become a mom in 2012, and is still childless today, I can say without a doubt I have struggled with this topic.

I seemed broken and I didn't know what to do or who to turn to.

As women, we are capable of doing many courageous things in our life.

Leading companies, finding success in our professional and personal lives, fighting for causes, launching technology, succeeding and triumphing over failures...and yet, the core of US as WOMEN, that no man can do for us....is make a baby.

But I couldn't.

I couldn't make it happen, no matter how much Googling I did late at night, no matter how many pineapple cores I ate, or pills I swallowed, or minutes spent with my legs in the air, or sticks I peed on....I just couldn't do it.

And not being able to accomplish a task that was MEANT for me as a woman spiraled my emotions out of control, affecting my life and most importantly, my relationship with my husband.

I blamed myself.
I blamed him.
I became depressed.

Depressed because I was suffering and didn't say anything to anyone.
I kept everything deep inside and plastered a fake smile on my face.
Surely I could fix this!

As days turned to weeks that turned into years, I gave in and reached out.
I started speaking to specialists and doing more research.

And along the way I found a community.
A community of fellow infertility warriors chugging along on their own paths to motherhood.

Ladies....there are MILLIONS of us.
I found online forums, and Facebook groups and my personal favorite, Instagram.

And we are all here with the same goal.
To become parents.

Reaching out helps to build a safety net for every emotion you will have.
And trust me, you will go through them all.

When you are having a bad day and feel like all hope is lost.....we are here.
When you reach a milestone, have success, hell....do something crazy like ACTUALLY GET PREGNANT!.....we are here.

We are here through thick and thin, rooting you on along the way.
And crying with you as well.

Because ladies....these hormones are a mother fucker.

Infertility is much more common that you think.
1 in 6 couples will experience infertility.

One in SIX.

Infertility is defined as the inability to achieve a successful pregnancy after one year of actively trying (if under 35)...and six months if over that age.

But the REASON for infertility can be one of a thousand different things.

Some people have hormonal imbalances.
Some people have Male Factor Infertility.
Some people have biological disorders, such as blockages, endometriosis, and cancer.
Some people, like me, have genetic disorders.

There are couples with issues on BOTH sides.

And my favorite...the elusive unexplained infertility.

Ladies and gentlemen, UNEXPLAINED is roughly 25% of all cases.

Can you image how frustrating that is?
You just want an answer...ANY ANSWER....and all the specialists in the world can't help you.

So you chug along.
This all-consuming world of Infertility is now the norm in your life.

But I can tell you one thing.
It is because of our Infertility journey that I have the relationship I now have with my husband.

We were good before, but man....we are amazing now.

There have been points where both of us have felt so beat down that we don't understand how to dig our way out...and it's at that point that the other has scooped us up, dusted us off, and held our shoulders as we continue to trudge on.

We are Infertility Warriors.
We will NOT let this disease define us.
We are bigger than this beast.

So do yourself a favor and SPEAK. UP.
Reach Out.
Ask for help.

Whether you are struggling with figuring out if your OPK is positive, or stabbing yourself with your hundredth needle, or watching your squirmy baby on an ultrasound....share it.

Share it with your friends, your family, social media....ANYWHERE.
I urge you to stop hiding. I urge you make a case for yourself.
Stand your ground. You deserve it!

The more mainstream this issue becomes, the more normal it is for those after us.
We deserve that type of normalcy in life!

The more light we shed on this topic, the more our insurance will provide coverage and mandates NECESSARY to our journey.

I will do my part and continue to blog about my setbacks, failures, and triumphs until we finally succeed in our goal to become parents.

I will continue to support fellow TTC-ers on social media, especially Instagram (@tgendooza).

I hope you do the same and find comfort knowing one simple fact:

YOU. ARE NOT. ALONE.


Thank you so much for reading.

3 comments:

  1. You go girl!!! You ate pineapple cores? I'm sorry but that made me laugh out loud, and I totally get it!! I would totally be that girl too, frustrated and trying everything to make it happen!

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  2. Definitely not alone! Everyone is either struggling, or, knows someone that is. Great post Tia!

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