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Jun 23, 2016

The REAL Effects of Birth Control

Birth control comes with a slew of scary side effects and warnings.
You know, blood clots, stroke, weight gain, etc.

This post is an incomplete list of the hormonal shit show that wreaks havoc on your mental state approximately seven days into a pack of birth control and continues for the next couple of weeks.



Things that will make a person irrationally angry (Like, to the point of screaming)

- When a newly purchased, empty, plastic planter, tips over in the back seat of your car.
Nothing was in it.
Nothing was planted.
It simply tipped over.
And laid there.

- When the mulch you placed in the trunk of your car makes the whole car smell mulchy

- When someone doesn't use their turn signal "fast enough"

- When you take a turn too fast while driving and your hand bumps the visor

- When someone leaves a gap longer than two car lengths ahead of you because they are checking their phone (ok, this one makes me angry regardless of hormone-induced conniptions)

- When your pillow isn't cool enough....on either side

- When someone is on "your" treadmill at the gym

- When someone turns the light on in a small gym bathroom, that was previously off, and walks out with it STILL. ON.

- When your husband leaves for an IVF consultation ten minutes ahead of you but you BEAT HIM TO THE DESTINATION.

Things that will make a person irrationally sad (to the point of ugly crying)

- Newly hatched, baby birds, found on the concrete, at work...and you can't find their nest or mom

- Trying to make a nest for said birds, at work

- Randomly thinking about the bird situation in the middle of the night

- Realizing the birds probably didn't make it but you can't bear to go look

- Reading or watching ANYTHING related to animal abuse, or old animals, or sick animals, or baby animals, or anything about animals EVER.

- Thinking about your old eggs while driving home from work

- Thinking about your old eggs while peeing

- Thinking about your old eggs, randomly, in the middle of the night

- Thinking about how often you have been crying

- Not being able to fit in your entire to-do list in one day

- Not making it to the gym because your gym clothes are still wet

- Forgetting to turn on the washing machine

*This list may or may not have happened to me over the course of two days.
**It did.

This is the warning label they NEED to post, don't cha think?

Hope some of this insanity made you smile today.

Lord help my husband while he watches this shit-show unfold.
Happy Thursday everyone! Thanks for reading! XO

7 comments:

  1. OKAY but seriously....why don't they have a warning label? May caused hot flashes, cold feet, strange crying outbursts, screaming fits, high blood pressure, yelling at strangers, irrational pointing of the adult finger...etc. etc.

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  2. hahahaha um you put happy friday but it's only thursday :(

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  3. Oh yeah, we could be best friends in person.

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  4. The pillow . . . thank you for getting it . . . the "cold" side! Ha! Well, at least it's almost Friday, right?!?

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  5. Hahaha god bless you! OH GOD this is so me and sadly I'm not even on birth control right now. My hormones have become so much worse the past couple of years. I told a guy at work to stop Paul Revere-ing me yesterday.

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