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Sep 7, 2016

Laughing Through Tough Times



I have been thinking a lot about the meaning of the word strong, and how it relates to me.

A lot of times, I feel strong at the gym, that's a given.
I can lift, move, push, pull apart....handle a lot of things.
That makes me physically strong.

But what about mentally?
This year has done nothing but proven that I am also mentally strong enough to handle some rather difficult shit.

Sorting through the mess, making the tough decisions, but not let the tough times overtake the good times.

That makes someone mentally strong.

I think a lot of this strength also comes from allowing myself to laugh through the pain.
To step away from the hurt and heartbreak and remember that laughing is really some of the best medicine. 
A deep, belly-filled laugh can do wonders....one that makes you tear up, and your cheeks hurt.

The bad times AND the good times are just seasons of life, blips in time....this too shall pass.

So you try to make the most of the good, and learn lessons from the bad.

Labor Day Weekend went off without a hitch. Family visited and we fulfilled all the fun stuff we had hoped for. The weather was beautiful and I had no intention of wallowing in self-pity.

That doesn't mean it was without drama.
There is never a good time to go through something terrible, unfortunately.

Anyone that has ever been witness to a family member or close friend with mental issues, like depression and anxiety, knows that it's tough.....really, really tough, to push through and make sense of everything.

You are trying to reason with someone that is just a shell of a person.
You are begging them to SNAP OUT OF IT ALREADY! 
And they nod their head in compliance and then go right back to acting crazy.

You are dealing with a person that has a chemical imbalance in their brain, and they are very, very good at manipulating a situation and sucking you into the drama. 

It takes a very strong minded individual, and safety net of family and friends to rally around and step in as needed to get the help they need.

And sometimes those issues become so large that family members can't do much to help the situation, so you waive the white flag and call in the professionals.

So that's what we did. 
As much as I hated to see my dad whisked off in an ambulance, I knew it would keep him safe, keep us sane, and get everyone the much needed stability we are desperately craving in our lives.

Making that hard decision does not mean you don't love that person.
Hell, it means you love them so much you just want the best for them.

And it's hard when they are screaming at you that YOU ARE RUINING EVERYTHING.

But it will get better. 
This is one of many steps in the right direction. 

Mental anxiety takes a decent amount of time to get back on track, work out the medication, talk with specialists, continue therapy, each and every day, as much as needed, for the rest of their life.

Parents are supposed to take care of their children.....so when the roles are reversed, it's....odd.
But absolutely necessary, sometimes.

I have always been very level headed in the face of uncertainty....and will likely crack a joke here and there to keep the mood light.

I'll cry later. 

But now, right now we have things to coordinate and stuff to fix and a party to throw and people to entertain and a LIFE to LIVE.

It gets better.
The sun will rise tomorrow and although you may be tired, you are healthy and breathing and ALIVE. 

My PSA with this, is if you know someone dealing with depression, TALK ABOUT IT. 
There are millions of others in a similar situation, and it really does take a village to heal that person.

It doesn't make you weak.
It makes you a fucking warrior for going against hearsay and what-ifs and fighting for the life YOU and THEY deserve. 

Take the steps. Make the calls. Because life is for the living....man.

Thanks for reading, XO.

5 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you have to go through this on top of everything else that's come your way this year! I'm glad your dad is getting the help he needs. I've struggled so much with depression and anxiety this year in the wake of all things IVF and you're right -- even when things suck, it's still pretty awesome to be alive, and pretty awesome to have all the hope and promise a new day brings. Good luck to you and your family, especially with everything you have ahead of you this month!

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  2. Tia what happened? Your grandmother can't reach your mom and is worried.

    This is your Aunt Cathy

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  3. Bummer to hear about your Dad . . . I can't imagine having to deal with that on top of everything else you are going through. Stay strong girl.

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  4. So sorry you had to go through this, friend. You have to do what you have to do - you need it for your sanity and don't need more stress in your life.

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  5. Tia, I think you are incredibly strong - both physically and mentally. You have had SO MUCH on your plate this year, and past years, and you continue to handle it all with such strength and grace. Don't forget to take those times to cry if you need them - I swear they hit you at the oddest time. Hang in there and you so did the right thing with your dad!

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